Viral videos, eh? Don't you just love 'em? Like a sugar-fuelled child at a Christmas party, they keep running up to you, tugging on your trousers, then throwing up down your leg, while everyone looks over and coos at them because LOOK, IT'S A PANDA SNEEZING! LOOK AT IT SNEEZE! IT THINKS IT'S PEOPLE!
I only mention it because today, over a civilised dinner of daupinoise potatoes and apple sausages, my dad made an oblique reference to a cannibal walrus. I looked at him, puzzled, until he produced the video of a cartoon walrus singing a song about being happy, until it was informed it was a cannibal and would rot in walrus hell. How awful. How disturbing. How catchy a tune. And so on.
It's now impossible to even make reference to any kind of large amphibious mammal without setting him off into a giggling fit.
I'm one of those annoying people who doesn't pick up on viral videos till six months later. I'm that Facebook friend who is still posting about "taking the hobbits to Isengard" weeks after everyone put it on their Ipods then forgot it existed. That's why, even though I think it's a bit annoying, juvenile and "QUUUUUIIIIIIIRRRRKKKKYYYY", I am going to officially, right here, on my second blog post, jump on the cannibal walrus bandwagon. I will not be left behind again; I'm going to buy the t-shirts and wear them in an ironically self-aware fashion in Costa; I'm going to put it on my ipod and listen to it fourteen times a day; I'm going to have it as my ringtone. I AM the bandwagon. I AM the cannibal walrus. And I AM signing off now.
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